As emotional creatures we allow circumstances in our lives to dictate our emotions and moods. Logically we may know we shouldn’t however the majority of people are not disciplined enough to be able to consistently keep full rein on the feelings that overtake them. Those feelings/emotions could be positive or negative ones.
Nature tends to lead us to match our actions with our moods. When we are happy and content we tend to be more positive towards others. Whether to our family and friends or to total strangers we are more agreeable, friendly, compassionate and helpful.
However when our moods lean more towards negative feelings such as depression, stress, frustration or anger, we tend to project those emotions outward on others. As if we don’t wish to hang on to them alone we feel compelled to make others share those feelings with us. That’s when we lash out and hurt others. Or we are very disagreeable and complain alot. Or we withdraw from others and sulk or even punish ourselves by turning the anger and frustration on ourselves. In either circumstance, allowing negative emotions to control our behavior is extremely damaging. It hurts others and it hurts ourselves.
Focusing on the positive in our lives and sharing that positivity with others is naturally preferable to tormenting others by hurting them simply because we are dissatisfied with our own feelings.
There are those that we love that are often our targets during times of our inner struggles with negative feelings. To a passerby one might think there is a bitter resentment towards our loved one or a sincere lack of anything positive felt towards them. What we tend to forget is even though our loved ones may know or believe that we do love them, after awhile of catching the fallout of our emotional meltdowns they may begin to question in their hearts whether or not our love and concern for them has died. They may try to understand it’s just a momentary reaction to some inner turmoil, however hearts are more tender than the mind. If our negative outbursts come in any degree of regularity, they may eventually lose faith in what we SAY we feel for them. This could be in a relationship between spouses, friends or parent and child.
In all sincerity, what gives us the right to believe we can take out our own frustrations on others. They have a right to their own peace. As well as they have a right to expect some degree of decency from those who claim to care about them. So who are we to feel that those closest to us are our own personal emotional punching bags?
Does this mean we should instead take all our frustrations out on strangers? Of course not! Would you want some random stranger passing by you to unload a bucket full of crap on you just cause you were there and handy?
We all experience negative emotions from time to time. Some of us more often than others ... whether that be due to circumstances in life or just because we are naturally not very likeable people! If more people would stop and consider the thought that we should treat others in a way we ourselves would wish to be treated then maybe our world could be a better place. Maybe our homes could be more tranquil. Our jobs could be less tedious and our relationships more productive and positive.
So who’s responsibility is it? YOURS! MINE! EACH of us have that responsibility. Not ONLY when others treat us good but even MORESO when others dump on us. That’s when we can get our ‘reaction exercises’ more finely tuned. It has to start somewhere.
